Saturday, July 25, 2015

New Mom Breastfeeding: Part 2

When I was pregnant, I wanted to breastfeed my son exclusively. How hard could it be right? "Baby, meet boob. Boob, baby! BAM!" Oh how was I wrong. 

The sitting positions were taking a toll on my back and my wound would hurt so badly (normal delivery). My arms were hurting and not forgetting my shoulders. Basically, everything hurt. 

Breastfeeding didn't take 15minutes per feeding. Initially it took over an hour! And the baby was still hungry. Making me feel like a terrible mom after for not producing enough milk. (Refer to:

I finally accepted the fact that my milk alone was not enough and we had to top up with formula. In the beginning, it was really upsetting. But once I got more rest and could think clearer, it definitely took the stress off me. Now my husband could help feed the baby, and my mom could too. At night, when the baby cries, I would latch him first while my husband sleeps and about 45mins later, I would unlatch him and my husband would give him the bottle. We make a good team.

Yes, the phrase "Breast is best" is a known fact. But not everyone can produce enough for their child and formula would be the next best thing rather than letting the baby starve. There are people who donates breast milk but to me, I prefer formula over a stranger's milk not knowing what they eat and lifestyle choices. But hey, that's my choice. If you think you'd rather go that direction, who am I to judge?

Friday, July 24, 2015

New Mom Breastfeeding: Part 1

I am very happy to say that I gave birth to a healthy baby boy on 15 May. Being a new mom, everything was a new experience and lesson. During my pregnancy, I went to antenatal classes and my mind was set to breastfeed my baby exclusively. The idea was simple right? I mean, how hard was it to place a baby on the boob? I got a huge wake up call when Alexander was born.

After birth, the nurses took him to be cleaned, to check his vitals and then he was brought to my room to start breastfeeding. About 5 seconds after I held him, I started throwing up. (No, I was not disgusted by my baby!) It was due to the side effects from the epidural. I was in labor for 13 hours and I had the epidural for over 5 hours. The nurses then took him so I could rest for a few hours.

I was in the hospital for 4 days. Had to extend a day due to Alexander's circumsition and he had to stay an extra day for observation and the doctor recommended I stayed so I could breastfeed him. Every time he was brought to me to breastfeed, which was about every 1-2 hours, I would latch him for what feels like forever. Minutes turn into over an hour and he was brought back to the nursery as he kept falling asleep. On day 2, the nurse came in and said that he was still hungry (right after bf him) and said that I might want to consider formula. At first I was hesitant, but, after discussing it with my husband we agreed that to give him formula whilst still attempting to breastfeed even though my milk has yet to kick in. Every time I unlatch him and was told that he's still hungry, I felt like a failure. I thought, "What kind of a mom can't even feed her own child?!"

On day 4, it took a giant toll on me as I was in pain, extremely tired as I was woken up every 2-3 hours and still no milk! I was extremely upset and was worried that if I continue that way, I would get postpartum depression. Till today, I don't think I got depression but I definitely got baby blues.

I was crying A LOT. I was upset over everything but I think the biggest thing was the lack of sleep was getting to me. I started using the pump on day 5 and my milk finally came in! Wasn't much though, about 1/2ounce but I was really happy.

When I took the antenatal class, I learnt that milk doesn't kick in right away for most women as it can be as soon as day 3 but it can also be as long as day 10. I knew that at the back of my head but when the nurses kept saying, "Not enough. He's still hungry", mentally, I took that as a criticism and I didn't handle the situation well. But, being stressed, sleep deprived and in pain, I was not thinking clearly at all. Also, with all the negative thinking, it probably caused my milk to come in late too.

So to all new moms who are stressed about milk production, it WILL eventually kick in. Some sooner, some later. Don't let negative comments affect you. It is a mental game and when you think you can't, you've already lost.

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Becoming Cuckoo for Cocoapuffs

Recently, I've been really down with my job. Money seems to be the only drive that forces me out of bed and sulk and pout getting ready for work. Now, even money does not motivate me one bit. I'm just really, really tired and it seems that my goal now is just to catch up on sleep, exercise and read.

I try to find something good about going to work, but, I guess with my mindset, I'm just too tired. And being so demoralized, I get irritated so easily. I'm trying my very best, but, nothing seems to work. At first it was affecting my physical health, not it's affecting my mental health. Even my husband is asking me to quit and take a break from putting too much stress on myself.

Come to think of it, ever since graduation, I've driven myself up the wall looking for jobs. For the 4 months I was unemployed after graduation, I get so worked up. And that was the only break I had in my work life. I've been working non-stop in 3 jobs for...5 years and 3 months. I know it's not that long. But when you're doing something you don't quite enjoy, it seems like forever. I really need a break.

Three months sounds good.

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Dum dum dum...

Created by Wedding Favors

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

I'm Getting Married!!!

I've always thought the weddings I attended were way too complicated. It was either too many people or crappy food or crappy booze or way too Chinese-y. (I know that's not a word, but if you've attended a typical Chinese wedding, you'll know what I mean.)

So, for my wedding, I wanted everything to be simple. So I thought, how hard can a simple wedding be? Just choose a nice location by the beach, invite some great people and have a good time. Oh boy, was I wrong. Very very wrong.

It started with, choosing a date and location. Me and my parents went to see a few places. Either we loved the place, but the date wasn't available, or the date was available but the location wasn't ideal.

Finally, we found the perfect location and set the date. Major part settled right? NO. That was where my challenge began. (Also, I have to plan this entire wedding by myself as my fiance is away for work.)

Then there comes the: decorations, themes, florists, invitations, photographers, videographers, make-up artist, bands, food, liquor, dresses, shoes, bridesmaids, bridesmaids dresses, groom's suit, groomsmen, etc.

I learn that, the simpler the wedding, the more work it took. Also, I consider myself as more of a detailed person and I wanted to personalize almost everything. That not only takes up a lot of time, but also money as well.

But all in all, I managed to complete planning an entire wedding, in less than 6 months and still with months to spare. But, I'm sure the stress has only just begun.

Thursday, August 4, 2011


Virginia Tech. In 2007, a South Korean student went on a shooting rampage and killed 32 people and injured many more. Today, another male suspect was seen on campus and now the campus is on lockdown.

I know of someone who has a friend on the plane on the 9-11 attack. His friend tried to call his family but apparently couldn't get through and called him to pass him the message and then the phone went silent. How does anyone ever recover from that kind of incident?

What is the world coming to? Are people so depressed and disgusted with life that they would rather buy a gun and kill everyone else and then commit suicide after? When you kill someone, you not only kill the person but his/her family's hopes and dreams as well anyone and everyone they know.

I guess this is the world we live in today.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011


I've decided to revive my blog. Woot. Let's see how long it can last this time.